You might have missed out, unless you were "poor".

Here's some background for you: man from "comfortable" family, and a woman from at least that, but better, as far as funds go. They marry. They move AWAY from their parents, their support systems. She's a stay at home mommom, by choice, (even though she has a college education). Later, they have two (extremely good-looking) children, and, oh, surprise... an unplanned third! (And of course she is a beautiful gift to us all). Still, she was not "planned", and was born during their divorce. Everything in between, if you weren't here for it, is not of importance to you, at least not for right now. So what can a young mother with two children and a newborn, and no job, do? She can think about, and plan for going back to school, to get more than a general education. In the meantime, how does she make it? Oh, and, he lost his job, so he's going to struggle as well, and now he probably won't find another preaching job, with what has just transpired, and with past choices made. And there it is. Go from a nice, though smallish home, to one parent in an apartment, and one taking her three children to live with friends, (all four of us in one room), til she's on her feet. Throw in some food stamps and a helpful and loving church family...I mean, of course we made it. However, McDonald's was a huge treat, a luxury. Christmas was very small. Clothes were used, much of the time, and the rental home we ended up in came complete with a somewhat scary neighborhood, including, but not limited to, a sometimes naked man across the street, who did attempt to come into our house, and who was after my thirty-something, beautiful mother. I walked to school in seventh grade, yes,...in rain, with stray dogs running around, and sometimes less than friendly kids. I specifically remember one Christmas that our church brought us a beautiful meal, and many gifts, and the tears and joy that ensued. I do not, however, remember being sad about lack of money, feeling "poor", or feeling like I suddenly had less than some of my friends. I don't think I even knew about poor. I knew I was loved, even through my pain at the divorce. I knew both my parents would do ANYTHING to care for me, and I knew God had not forgotten us, even in my small understanding of Him. These days, my father is a business owner, and not just of one, but of two small advertising businesses. My mother is married to a retired accountant. These things don't really matter, though. What matters is that I learned that my value doesn't come from what I have. I learned to be patient.  I learned to have a good work ethic, and to work hard. I learned not to expect, but to be grateful, and most of all, that Gods gifts are mostly NOT in the form of money, though He does bless in that way, too. Of course everyone has their own experience, and their own valuable lessons from whatever their situation was. This is just mine. I also know that compared to the rest of the world, we were RICH, with food, and clothing, and a home, and love. I am not embarrassed that we were ever "poor". I am proud of my parents and stepparents, who give away SO much to others, including their money. They also give support, friendship, teaching, and unconditional love to many many people. I can't even begin to tell you about it all! So thank you. Thank you to them, for all the things I might have missed out on,  (but didn't) if I would have always "had it all."

sustenance of the soul

Kisses for and from my children, swimming, running, singing, my veggie garden, poetry, prayer, meditation, the psalms, baking, Sundays at Journey, laughter with friends, my special patients, planting flowers, slow dances, long drives, painting furniture, mint chocolate chip ice cream, smiles from strangers, tight squeezes from my husband, my dog licking my toes......thank you God for all your gifts. I am undeserving and grateful.

Simply for the joy of it

The beauty of water is that almost anything can part it, but almost nothing can stop it if there is enough of it. Symbolic enough. It can envelop your worries when you dive down and let it all go. From the late night swims of the past, in only moonlight, to my children splashing in the river, to the baptism in the pond, which no water experience will ever compare to again.

Late night randomness

"And if I should go, I hope you know...I always loved you, held you high above too."-sirens

Exquisite love and exquisite pain, that's the chance we all take. And its worth it. If you don't, you're not living, you're just alive.

You are my youth, dreams that had not yet unfolded... innocence and recklessness. And now here for my becoming, for tired smiles and who knows what. Before the world was real, and after it was real, there was you. Sometimes lost, sometimes found, but still.....Some people make everything beautiful! Keep growing. Stay alive. Thank you.